7 Lessons Learned: Milan, Italy

Lessons Learned

30 May

“The best education you will ever get is traveling. Nothing teaches you more than exploring the world and accumulating experiences.” - Mark Patterson

It would be an understatement to say I learned more in my month in Milan than I did in the previous six months at “home.” Patterson had it right when commenting on the immense knowledge and experience one attains while traveling. I would go further to say especially when solo, slow traveling. Going on holiday for one to two weeks, or traveling with a big group or family, is all great and fun, but it’s simply not the same. Spending enough time in one place to know what streets to walk down at what times and see faces smile with recognition when you go into stores brings several more layers of experience and fulfillment. Traveling is the world’s greatest teacher, in my opinion. In order to make the most of those lessons learned, it’s important to reflect and analyze those situations. For the sake of transparency and hopefully helping some of you in the future, I will be sharing some of the lessons I learned during my time in Milano, Italia.

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Table of Contents

1. Pack Less

I recently posted a blog about what to pack for a year-long adventure, which you can read about here. I have since updated it because one of my biggest lessons I learned: I packed WAY TOO MUCH. When I landed in Milan, I had a 45L rucksack and a fully packed 21L school backpack. I have since gotten down to a 45L, and I recognize that I still have too much, weighing in at about 15kg/33lbs. Realistically, based on conversations I have had with other long-term travelers, one should be able to live out of a 30-40L, weighing 10-12kg/22-26lbs, for at least a year. The fact I didn’t want to accept at first is that you can simply buy clothes or other items as needed, then leave them, donate them, sell them, whatever. In full honesty, I was trying to maintain a “cute” travel wardrobe and let that influence my packing a bit too much in hindsight. I do some work online, so I do need a device that’s bigger than just my phone, but I don’t need both a tablet and a laptop. You indeed do not need extra chargers and adapters and this and that. It’s simply not practical. Also- try on your rucksack, with weight in it, before going backpacking. I bought one online, didn’t try it, and ended up replacing it with one that I did test out because the online one didn’t meet my needs.

2. Walk Confidently

Particularly in certain countries like Italy, crosswalks are a death wish. The way to limit risk of getting hit is to not hesitate. Seriously. Straight back, head tall, big strides, start and don’t stop until you’re on the other side. If you flinch, they will get dangerously close. Of course, this applies to other instances as well though, and not just crosswalks. Notably, as a single woman walking down the street, don’t look lost, confused, or timid. Walk with confidence, acting like you have somewhere to be and know exactly where it is, even if you don’t. One of the best ways to blend in with the locals is look like you know where you’re going and you have to be there soon.

3. Don't Plan Too Much

Plans change, am I right? As I’m writing this up, I’m having to determine where I will be in the next month because my plans to meet up with a friend got canceled for reasons beyond our control. What you don’t want to do is lock yourself into plans that you made when you were lonely or intoxicated or running off the adrenaline high of bungee jumping in the jungle. Our priorities shift, we meet people and want to stay longer, our moods change, we need periods of rest. There are innumerable circumstantial moments that change our course of action. Knowing where you will sleep tonight is generally a good thing, but also don’t stress if you don’t know and it’s already midday… you’ll figure it out, I promise. It is so much fun to just live moment-by-moment, and decide on a whim where to go, what to do, and see who you meet along the way. Embrace the chaos and don’t worry too much about bookings and reservations and agendas. Some of my favorite days were spent in a park with good company, all free, all unplanned.

4. Plan For Emergencies

Maybe this sounds counter to Number 3, but certain plans are good to have. Like, what to do in an emergency. Do you have the numbers of EMS in the country you’re in? Do you know anyone in the area, or even just the hostel you’re staying at, that you could contact in a situation? Do you have any safety devices with you when out-and-about? I use the Invisawear necklace, for example, and it gives me peace of mind knowing my contacts can be alerted with my exact location in an emergency. It’s not a super fun thing to think about, but it’s always better to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Just have a rough plan, phone numbers saved, and have an eSim with data so you can always call for help.

5. Learn The Language

No, I don’t mean for you to become fluent in every language spoken of every country you visit. However. Learning a few words and phrases goes a long with with building rapport and friends. Generally, learning the following in the local language can be very beneficial to you:

Yes / No
Thank you / You’re welcome
Hello / Goodbye
Good morning / Good day / Good night
Please
Card / Cash (good for paying for things)
Restroom / “Where is the restroom?”
Bill / “I would like the bill, please.”
Left / Right
Help / “I need help”

Of course, the more you learn, the easier it will be for you to integrate. But often, you will find you pick up on some words quite quickly and naturally, just from hearing them all the time. If there is a word or phrase you hear repeated frequently, ask someone what it means and learn it!

6. Friendships Form Quickly

Historically, my closest friends and I “hit it right off the bat.” But when I tell you things happen faster traveling, I mean it. For example, as I type this up, I am planning my visit to a friend’s home country with her after knowing her for only one week. Whether it be deep conversations on the couch late at night, trauma-bonding via sketchy experiences, or simply playing a card game together, friendships form fast. While this is a wonderful, beautiful experience, there are a few things you should remember. First, expect it to hurt when you or the other person moves on to the next place. You just created a strong connection, potentially spending every waking minute together for a short amount of time, and now, you’re separating. Second, don’t feel bad if the connection doesn’t last once everyone is gone. Just like with friendships at home, some are meant for only chapters of our lives, and not the remainder of the book. And lastly, if the friendship does last, be prepared for crazy phone calls and texts with that person until you see each other again, because you just want to keep sharing your crazy lives with each other.

7. People Make Assumptions

With quickly-forming friendships in mind, know that you won’t always be everyone’s favorite person. Or, you might not be at first, but then you grown on ‘em haha. “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” while cliché, holds true here. But, it happens. By appearance, by first impression, or by the answer to “Where are you from?”, people will make assumptions about you… and you will about the other person too, no matter how much you try not to. Often, these assumptions are wrong, but it doesn’t stop us from creating these stubborn opinions about each other. When you catch yourself doing it, ask the other person about themselves and try to get to know them on a personal level, not just on a superficial scan of “who they are.” And when it happens to you, try not to take it personally. Simply because of where I’m from, I’ve had people make assumptions and not talk to me, or at least be very closed towards me. With some, I was able to show them I’m more than just my country’s stereotypes. But with others, their minds couldn’t be changed. And that’s okay. But, nonetheless, be prepared for some harsh assumptions to be made about you, and for you to make about others. Take it all with a grain of salt, and try to correct your thinking to be more open next time you catch yourself doing it as well.

Takeaways

I’m sure there are a million other subtle lessons I learned in Milan, but these are the big seven. The most influential and obvious. Pack less, walk confidently, don’t plan too much, but plan for emergencies, learn the language some, friendships form quickly, and people make assumptions (including yourself). I could go on-and-on about some of these lessons, and really delve into what they can mean, and what they have meant for me. But, I will choose to let your imagination run wild and allow you to interpret these as you will. I do recommend, however, that you truly analyze these and if you have been backpacking yourself, contemplate whether any of these are true for you. If you haven’t yet started your traveling adventures, be ready for such things and you will hopefully be more prepared than I was! In the end, I simply hope my sharing of these lessons will help some of you and maybe give you ideas on how to counteract some of the negative affects of learning them. If you find any of this useful, let me know! If you have questions, comments, or concerns, share them! My goal is for this to be a platform for like-minded travelers to share and help others. If you follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Threads, you will find that’s the easiest place to interact with a community of wanderers. On my YouTube channel, I will share tips, tricks, and lessons learned from each destination I go to, and my podcast will have similar content in a different format. I hope that you find this information helpful and use it as a starting point for your own wonderful, magical adventures! Happy wandering.